Fear is just another Emotion (EDWARD)

[edwardcullen]

"No one ever tells me anything so how do I learn?" "The tune completely sets moods. The more upbeat the song the happier people are, but when the music gets sad so do you. It is weird like that." "I guess so. It must be crazy there if the electricity is out there too." "Why would you think I would ask you something like that? I can live an entire lifetime without some vampire's teeth on me. Not really my thing. No I don't want to be like you. So don't worry. It is just not my cup of tea."

"Good, well, Bella wanted it more than any thing. Until I was able to convince her that it was not all it is cracked up to be. Actually I'm not the only one that convinced her. The one she is with now had a hand in showing her his own way of how we are....But I'm sure most of what he told her was nothing but lies. Every since I broke the treaty, I didn't think your mom and dad wanted me to tell you any thing....But you deserve to know...You're part of our lives now any way...."

Edward felt that she had a right to know the past...That was taken place not so long ago. If it was back in 1919 she would not need to know it. But since the treaty between the vampires and the wolves were broken in deed by his actions, she needed to know that....

Edward joined his sister in the kitchen...."I'm just glad there is one human on our side that sees us for the real us....Not what other humans think about us....How does that orange juice taste...? I'm sure I won't be a stranger to the supper market I bet Esme had already made Rosalie go stock up on food huh?" He joked as he nudged her shoulder slightly playing with her. He could hear all she was thinking. And she was starting let his own mind be put at rest. She did know he was mind reader. She knew that he could read any thing she thought. But he tried hard on her behalf not to read it....

[anastasia90]

Shaking her head, Ana smiled. "Like I said, nothing to worry about me there. I would rather not be like that. I mean i have nothing against all of my vampire family, but i just would prefer staying human." Anastasia was becoming confused. "Treaty? What treaty?" She asked trying to make heads or tails of this thing. What treaty was he talking about? How did he break it? Had Edward done something wrong? Questions raced through Ana's head like a jet plane. The human girl was often told only what she needed to be. Hardly ever did she know the extra stuff. So half the time new things are thrown out in the open and Ana would never have a chance to understand them. It was frustrating to say the least. But for once, Edward was being an open book to her. Maybe she could get some answers finally. She would never tell anyone he told her, she could never betray his trust.

Ana knew no one really trusted him anymore. She didn't know why. She knew it had to be because of something he had done in the past. That was all she knew. It saddened her that she was the only one that really trusted him. Well Esme had to trust him in some form if she allowed him to be alone with her. Esme was really protective over Ana. More than likely it was because she was human. Another point that irritated her. She was treated way more different than the other kids. It just wasn't fair. "If being a Cullen entitles me to know about things then why do people avoid my questions or tell me its not a big deal?" She really wanted to know.

Ana smiled. "I have to admit, knowing vampires are real is a little odd. But it is nice knowing something that others doesn't know about." She smiled. She looked at her beverage and laughed a little. "Citrusy I guess." She answered with her eyebrow arced. Laughing, Ana had to set the glass down before she spilled the orange liquid on the floor. "Rose? at a grocery store? Yeah, no. I think Alice Esme and I are the only ones that ever really go. It is interesting though. Its always Ana do you like this and would you like that. I cringe every time we get home and they try to figure out where to put everything." She spoke laughing. She was completely at ease. She had never felt like this around him before. It was kind of refreshing knowing you weren't afraid of your family.

[edwardcullen]

"Like I said, nothing to worry about me there. I would rather not be like that. I mean i have nothing against all of my vampire family, but i just would prefer staying human." "I have to admit, knowing vampires are real is a little odd. But it is nice knowing something that others doesn't know about." "Citrus I guess." "Treaty? What treaty?" "Rose? at a grocery store? Yeah, no. I think Alice Esme and I are the only ones that ever really go. It is interesting though. Its always Ana do you like this and would you like that. I cringe every time we get home and they try to figure out where to put everything."

Edward smiled and chuckled slightly. Yeah the thought of Rosalie at the market, it would take her forever to find everything on the list. Edward didn't blame Ana why she never would ask Rosalie to go to the store with her..."I can't believe Carlisle didn't say any thing to you about the Treaty...Maybe because you're still human he didn't tell you...."

"I don't know if you want to know this but you need to know....I broke the treaty. Ana, that treaty is sacred between us vampires and the wolves of Forks. They look like humans as well but they can shift into huge wolves. When we moved here we made a treaty that we would stay off their land....And not kill humans. We only hunt animals...We only hunt animals...." He could easily remember the way the wolf died...He had indeed transformed back into his human self when Edward bit into his neck...Edward couldn't tell his sis that...."Ana you have every right to be afraid of me...But I can't and will not harm you you understand....I'd go crazy if some thing happened to you.."

There was some thing egging in his stomach right now as he looked at his human sister across the room....Why was he feeling like he just needed a drink?! Which did need a drink. His eyes were red...Blood red. He looked himself in the reflection of mirror that was in front of him...He swallowed hard. There was no one here to help him....He couldn't do this to his sister...."Ana....If I ever told you fear is just another emotion...Then I was wrong....You...might wanna get out of here...." He was trying his best to stay away from her with his back to her now....He couldn't let her see his eyes. He didn't want her to see his eyes....He just gained her trust! He couldn't loose it now. Not now....He loved his sister. And if he did any thing else to make the family not trust him, then what kind of family was that any way? But he was trying his best to keep Ana from seeing him as this....This monster that was trying to come out.....

[anastasia90]

Ana sighed. "Still human? I pretty sure home I'm human in the next fifty years." Ana responded. It was a little irritating when people said it was cause she was still human. She wished they would stop that. It sounded like in the end she would be a vampire. Like her fate was inevitable. She didn't understand the logic. If she didn't want the life she wouldn't have the life. That was normally how it worked. At least that was what Ana thought.

Ana nodded. She knew they only ate animals. That was something she had been told at the beginning. It was why she wasn't scared of the Cullens. But she had no idea where this was going. But the look on her brother's face told her not to push the subject. If he wanted to talk further on the subject then he would. She wouldn't pry. Ana nodded at his next statement. "I know. It is why I'm not scared anymore. I have no reason to." She smiled softly.

Ana was confused when Edward spoke again. She set her glass down on the counter and looked at him. He looked tense. She grabbed her flashlight and shined it over in Edward's direction. "Edward?" She asked before she stopped. There. Her was tense for a reason and she could tell why now. She took a step back. She blinked a few times before she took off in a dead run out of the kitchen. She only made it to the coffee table until the surface seemed to jump out at her. She tripped over it falling and sending her flashlight across the room. When the light hit the ground, the source of light flickered out sending the room into complete darkness. Crying softly, Ana crawled across to the nearest corner and pulled her knees to her chest.

It was then she realized she scraped her knee and put her hand over it was bleeding ever so slightly. Ana put her hand over the wound hoping it would mask the smell. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't happen now. Where was everyone? She wanted someone to walk in. Someone to come to her rescue.

[edwardcullen]

To hear her scurry out of the room like she had would be a treat to any other vampire. But not this one. It was not long ago he killed and tasted human blood for the first time in a long time. He tried to fight the urge. But once you got that taste in your mouth it was impossible to stop. And he really wanted more of it. And he had a source of it...His sister. But it was his sister. Not just any human he could drag into an alley way this time. He knew in his right mind that if he laid one hand on Ana he was dead...By his parents.

Edward looked in the mirror again as he rubbed both his hands through his hair as he looked at those burning, bright, red eyes....
What was wrong with him? This was not him...Even Rosalie might be shocked to see her brother like this...He smelled it right away though. Blood. She hurt herself when she tripped. Edward tried his best to fight the urge...As he rushed to the bath room and grabbed a first aid kit....They had it for Bella a while back just in case....But now it was for his sister...The question was would she trust him enough to let him in...? She would have no choice....He walked as calmly as he could to her bed room door and opened it...She didn't lock it ? That was not a smart move.

She would most likely be curled up in a corner some where. And yes he found her. He was still hungry, but he was not going to give into that beast that he hated so much! "Ana..." When he saw and smelled the blood stronger now all he did was bend down to her and place his hand over her cut knee and opened the first aid kit and started to clean the cut...."This shouldn't have happened....."

[anastasia90]

Ana was scared now. She was crying too. But it wasn't because she was scared of Edward. Sure, she was scared. But she was scared for Edward not of him. If he lost it and hurt her, then he would beat himself up over it and not to mention his family would too. She stayed still, not making a sound. But she knew he could hear her breathing, hear her heart racing, smell her blood. Okay, so she was scared, but not of Edward. No she was scared of the monster that wanted to eat her that laid inside of Edward. That wasn't her brother. Her brother was the guy that was downstairs at the piano with her and talking and joking in the kitchen. Not the thing that could be stalking her right now while she sat blinded in the dark.

She never heard Edward approach. He walked to softly across her floors. So when he touched her knee she jumped and let out a little squeak. "Edward?" Ana asked hoping he wasn't going to hurt her. She trusted him, but she knew if he did, he would be more than a little upset over it. But then he began to clean the cut with a first aid kit. She couldn't see what he was doing but obviously he could. "It's alright, accidents happen. I'm not mad." She reached over and put her hand on his arm with a soft smile. "I wasn't scared of you. The thirst, that monster that comes out, that isn't you. My brother is the sweet kind person sitting in front of me right now." She spoke as she wiped the tears from her cheeks where she had just stopped crying.

When Edward finished cleaning her knee and putting a bandage on it, Ana smiled and started to stand up. "Stay." She told him as she walked over to her desk. She opened a drawer and pulled something out of it. She walked back to him and knelt in front of him and smiled. "Hold out your right arm and close your eyes." She smiled. When he did it she attached a blue hemp bracelet she had made for him. She smiled as she told him to look and waited to see what he thought. She had been working on it for a week before he got there. She had been not thinking about it intentionally so he wouldn't know. So he would be surprised. And he hoped he liked it. She had to ask Esme what everyone's favorite colors were just to make the bracelets for the family. Esme had gotten her the materials and it was what she did when she had nothing to do.

bracelet: i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/lens10546371_1271458576plainhemp002_blue_spiral.

[edwardcullen]

"Edward?" "I wasn't scared of you. The thirst, that monster that comes out, that isn't you. My brother is the sweet kind person sitting in front of me right now." "Stay." "Hold out your right arm and close your eyes."

Edward closed his eyes and did as she asked by holding his arm out. He heard her fumbling for some thing and then she came back over and placed something around his wrist....After she tied it on he looked down at the bracelet. "You made that for me....Ana...Thank you." At that moment he stood up..."I forgot some thing...I'll be right back...." Edward ran back down stairs and entered the kitchen....And opened the fridge. In the far back there were water bottled filled with animal blood...Esme had helped with that for Edward while he was here....And he grabbed one and rushed back up stairs....With him drinking from it....And he sat back down on the floor....

Did she know what that meant to him? His eyes were still blood shot red as he looked down at the bracelet. This proved to him that she was really sincere. "How do you feel? Better I hope..." Edward looked down at her now healed knee with a band aid over the cut. Edward was glad that the cut was now covered with medicine...He would not be able to drink that blood any way. The medicine would not digest easily with him....Although he had a flash in his mind about the possibility of him attacking her...

"You can't trust a vampire Ana....But you trust me....And the rest of us..." He sat down on the floor in her room. He was not so thirsty now as he was earlier. Maybe it was just a small craving or some thing....? But he was over it. Even his eyes were a golden brown....He looked himself in her mirror then and sighed heavily...Edward sat there still drinking his blood in the water bottle...Esme really thought about everything. She was a good mother. He figured that she thought he wouldn't want to hunt a lot while he was home visiting them.....

[anastasia90]

Ana smiled and slightly bit down on her bottom lip. "Well, I have some free time and this seemed like a more creative way to spend it. It took me a week to get the spirals right, but I had gotten them finally on mine and so I made you one." Ana replied playing with her own purple bracelet on her wrist. Ana had made everyone in the family bracelets. She just hadn't given them out yet. Edward was the first to get one. She smiled softly. She was glad he liked it. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't like the bracelet.

Ana waited in her dark room while Edward left. She sat on the floor fiddling with her bracelet. She could hear the rain softening outside as the thunder started sounding farther away. Hopefully the lights would come back on soon. The fact that it was late at night and there was no electricity made it super dark inside.But she wasn't scared. She knew her brother would protect her if anything was to happen.

Ana smiled. "I feel fine. Just wish the lights would come on or we could do something until they do." Ana was slightly bored. She didn't like to sit for too long. The storm was dying down to a normal Forks rainstorm. Ana walked to the windows in her room and opened the curtains. She looked out the windows and breathed out onto the glass to fog it up before drawing a smiley face in it.

When Edward spoke, Ana's smile faded and she pressed her head to the glass before turning to him. "I don't see vampire's when I look at you and the rest of the family. I see good hearted people. People who love and care about more than their next meal. No, I don't see it that way. That is why I trust." She looked at him and pressed her back against the glass, it was cold against her warm skin, felt nice. "Edward, I am scared of vampires, genuinely scared of them after my parents were slaughtered. But I am not scared of you or this family. The reason is because I don't look at you and say, vampire, no I say brother. Esme is my mother, Carlisle my fathere and Rose, pain in the butt as she is, is my sister. I would go on but I know you get it. The point is. I see family, not vampires." She spoke with a soft smile.

[edwardcullen]

"Well, I have some free time and this seemed like a more creative way to spend it. It took me a week to get the spirals right, but I had gotten them finally on mine and so I made you one." "I feel fine. Just wish the lights would come on or we could do something until they do."

Edward spotted her flash light and grabbed it again and walked over to where she was and placed it in her hand again...."You gotta keep an eye on this thing....Especially in a house full of vampires..." He said firm yet calm at her..."I don't see vampire's when I look at you and the rest of the family. I see good hearted people. People who love and care about more than their next meal. No, I don't see it that way. That is why I trust." Edward tried to maintain a straight face....Because Bella said some thing like that once to him....As he nodded at her and turned away from her....It wasn't that he didn't believe her...It was just it was coming a human.

"Edward, I am scared of vampires, genuinely scared of them after my parents were slaughtered. But I am not scared of you or this family. The reason is because I don't look at you and say, vampire, no I say brother. Esme is my mother, Carlisle my father and Rose, pain in the butt as she is, is my sister. I would go on but I know you get it. The point is. I see family, not vampires."

"Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" ((Had to say it^^ XD))....Edward was worried about his sister no doubt. He sorta felt whole again that he was back to being the protector for some one...And it was family this time. He wanted to make sure Ana was safe under any circumstance....He wasn't gonna fail her he made a promise...."I promise nothing will harm you...Nothing will hurt you while I'm around. Just don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it." He said with a serious tone on...He was already hating himself for loosing his self control earlier. But he was back to normal as it was as normal as he could be....He loved his sister....And he was going to spend the rest of his life protecting her. He will. He was not going to let her get hurt if he could help it...."You just saved my life. Ana...I now have a reason to be in this family..." He said softly at her.

[anastasia90]

Ana smiled with a slight giggle in her voice. "Who knew a flashlight would be so important." She joked a little. Ana was in an oddly good mood. And now that the storm was stopping she could only hope the electricity would cut on again. But she also knew there could be things they could do without electricity. "What could we do until the electricity is back?" She asked him with a soft smile. She wasn't used to being without electricity so she didn't know what was a possibility and what wasn't.

Ana had to laugh. "What would I be doing at the ocean? I can't even swim." That was something she never told anyone. Whenever she would go to the beach she never went in farther than she could reach. She never went out past the water at her chest. She was scared to drown, and her parents had been to cautious to teach her to swim. "And how would I get run over if I don't play in the road?" Ana hardly ever went anywhere. Her life was with the family. The only time she left was with the family. She didn't have friends and really didn't enjoy being in public alone.

Ana looked at him. His words meant a lot. No one had ever said something like that to her. "Thank you. That means a lot to me. No one has ever really cared about me that much." SHe spoke softly. She was growing closer to Edward. She wasn't very close to her siblings. Esme was one of the only people she was close too. Edward was becoming closer than that. He was starting to be her favorite. Was that possible?

Ana looked at him oddly. "Saved you? What did I do?" She was confused. She had no idea what she had done or said.Anastasia didn't think she was that awesome to be honest. Nothing compared to most people. She was a blip on the radar. That was about it.

[edwardcullen]

"Who knew a flashlight would be so important." "What would I be doing at the ocean? I can't even swim." "And how would I get run over if I don't play in the road?" "Sorry I can't believe I just said that...Memory lapse I suppose....I told Bella that once..." He was that worried about her. That she reminded him a little bit about Bella. She was clumsy for a human just as Bella was. Ana already proved that when she fell earlier. But he had to realized that she was living here. She was family. He didn't have to worry about her. She had enough protection. "Thank you. That means a lot to me. No one has ever really cared about me that much." "You're welcome....I guess the way we look at it...We spoil you...Because you are in fact a human..." He smirked at her sweetly and teasing slightly...But only what a big brother would do to his sister..."Saved you? What did I do?" Edward smiled brightly at her as he looked out the window and watched the way the rain was letting up..."You give me a reason to want to remain here...Why I've not completely moved out yet...You might be what this family needs Ana...And no one knows it yet...But, I think you are just the one person that could keep us all together..." Edward was so not lying about that. He's seen the way the family was falling apart. With Emmett and Rosalie leaving it would not be the same and with Edward himself not even having a current room here any more....Made it seem like the Cullens were indeed loosing that tight knitted family they always were....But maybe just maybe...Ana could help them stay together....

[anastasia90]

Bella. This wasn't the first time she had heard that name before now. Not even the first time she had heard it from Edward. Ana had not gotten to meet the girl herself, but she wasn't worried about it at the moment. She was more worried about her brother at that point in time. She looked at him with the sort of gaze that made you want to pour your soul out. "You still love her don't you?" She asked him bluntly with a soft sweet voice. She wasn't trying to be mean by all means. She just wanted to try to figure out where her family stood. Brooke had already been married to Edward by the time Ana had been taken in by the Cullens. So Ana was used to the idea of Brooke being part of the family. She liked Brooke too. Brooke was a nice person and seemed like someone she could be friends with. But she also knew if Edward loved this Bella girl more than Brooke, then maybe that was who he should be with. Anastasia was far from stupid. She saw things for what they were worth and from this standing, she could see a problem. She wanted her brother to be happy. She definitely didn't want him regretting a decision like this. Yeah, It would be a big change if he decided to divorce Brooke and marry someone else, but Ana also knew that no one would care if he was happy.

Ana? Spoiled? Okay maybe a bit. Okay maybe a lot. "Yeah, I can see how fun it would be to have someone around the house that you can feed and such. I mean, I am like a doll that actually requires maintenance and needs help to survive from day to day. I am glad my mortality brings enjoyment to someone." She smiled as she joked back at him. Ana was in a generally good mood for once. Something that was welcome around the house. She wasn't being sarcastic or bitchy, and her temper was in check. She was happy. Content. It was odd, that feeling. She was so used to being sad and feeling empty or scared. She was used to being angry and annoyed at little things. Happy and Content was odd for her. It had been a very long time since she had been happy. Truly happy.

Shaking her head, Ana sighed. "I am not keeping the family together. Rose is leaving because of me. She hates me being here. I mean yeah, I may be what is keeping you here, but how long until that is over? How long until Jasper and Alice leave too? One human can't keep an entire family together, not when it was starting to ravel at the seams even before my arrival here. It is just too impossible for one girl to manage." The mood in the room had changed to a sadder more solemn mood in just those few moments. "Once I graduate high school, I am leaving. I am going off to college in Seattle or some other big city. Then what will keep this family together? Besides, I can't stop anyone from leaving if they wanted to. Sure I could cry and pout about it but if you and Brooke wanted to leave tomorrow, I couldn't stop you. What could I do? Tie you to the bed and say no you aren't leaving?" She half way smiled at that, but you could still see the sadness in her eyes. She felt like she was to blame for the family falling apart. Rosalie didn't like her, that was why her and Emmett were leaving. Jasper was always on edge because he always wanted to eat her. It was only a matter of time before him and Alice left as well. And then with Edward with the Volturi, him and Brooke were hardly ever there. So Ana was alone with Esme and Carlisle most of the time. It was like she was an only child in those moments much like she had been with her biological parents in Italy.

Ana closed her eyes as memories of the night her parents died played before her eyes like a movie. The images were vivid, more vivid than they ever had been and soon she found herself crying as she slid down the glass of the window to sit on the cold wood floor. She watched as everything from that night played out once more and she began to realize how stupid her fearing Edward had really been from the start. She turned her head so she faced away from her brother, scared to have him see her as she realized how much of an idiot she was. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid. I don't know why I was scared of you to begin with. I realize now that you had only been trying to help me in Italy. And I am sorry I messed things up for the family here." She spoke softly, her words getting barely over a whisper. Her tears slid down her cheeks leaving silver streaks on her soft warm skin. "I just wish things were easier. Maybe then everything wouldn't be so messed up. I guess I acted out against Rosalie trying to get attention. I felt like I didn't belong here. I really don't belong. I am nothing like anyone in this family. I am an outsider. I shouldn't even be here. Shouldn't even be alive." She spoke the last word really softly. She hated admitting all of that but that was how she felt. She put up a face when she wasn't alone but every night when she was laying in bed she cried. She hated the moments of being alone because she was left to feel empty inside and she didn't know how to fix that void. The big gaping whole that ate at her core. She was broken inside and she couldn't even begin to put the pieces back together. The more time passed the more the pieces started to fall apart. It was only a matter of time before Ana became a walking zombie, completely empty and void of life because of these stupid feelings she carried around. It was only a matter of time until she completely fell apart. And secretly she wondered who would be there to help her to put the pieces of her soul back together. Everyone in the family had someone else but her. She was the lone sheep in a family of wolves.

Anastasia looked back over at Edward with a smile as she wiped her tears away. "Look at me. I am sitting here crying like an idiot and giving you some sob story you probably don't want to hear. You have enough problems on your plate as it is and I am probably boring you with my story." Ana was finally opening up to someone about something. Edward was the first person to ever hear any of this come from her mouth. But it was just like the human girl to shut down and hide it all the moment she started to open up. Ana was a mess, that was for sure. The question was, what was it going to take to clean up that mess? Was there anyone out there that could? And was there anyway to straighten up that mind of hers that made her think her life was meaningless and she had no worth in the world? She didn't see a fix to it all anywhere in sight. Was it even possible to do?

What was the worth of one human anyways? Why did she deserve to live and not thousands of others? Was she that special? "Why did you save me that night Edward?" She asked him. It was a question that had been eating her to the core for a long time. "Why did you not let me die that night? What was so special about me that I was required to stay alive?" She didn't know why she deserved to be saved. Was she even that important? No, one person couldn't be. One little human girl simply could not mean that much to the world. She was just a pawn in a master scheme of things. She wasn't a knight or a rook. She was a pawn. One of the most insignificant pieces in the game. One that could be easily replaced at the drop of a dime. But with that in mind, why should she live? Why should she be saved by a stronger more important player in the game? Why did she matter? What made her so different from the rest of the masses? Why her? No there was no way she could be important at all. But that didn't stop her from asking that one question. the one question that had been echoing in the back of her head since coming to the Cullen house. It was probably the one question she wanted answered more than anything. What had Edward seen in her that warranted her to be spared when her parents were sentenced to become a vampire's next meal? Why was she not made dessert?

(Sorry Cloud...I guess I decided to write you a novel ^_^)

[edwardcullen]

"You still love her don't you?" The answer would be yes. Everyone knew that by now. Even his now to be wife Brooke Knight. The very woman that wanted to love him. "Yes." He said out flatly and honestly. "Yeah, I can see how fun it would be to have someone around the house that you can feed and such. I mean, I am like a doll that actually requires maintenance and needs help to survive from day to day. I am glad my mortality brings enjoyment to someone." Edward could not help but smile at that. She did bring life to this house hold. Literally! But, he didn't want to be some where in Italy and find out that she has been hurt and was bleeding around a family of vampires. Some still having a control complex. But Edward knew she wouldn't become a meal. Simply because of their parents love for her.

"I am not keeping the family together. Rose is leaving because of me. She hates me being here. I mean yeah, I may be what is keeping you here, but how long until that is over? How long until Jasper and Alice leave too? One human can't keep an entire family together, not when it was starting to ravel at the seams even before my arrival here. It is just too impossible for one girl to manage."

"Once I graduate high school, I am leaving. I am going off to college in Seattle or some other big city. Then what will keep this family together? Besides, I can't stop anyone from leaving if they wanted to. Sure I could cry and pout about it but if you and Brooke wanted to leave tomorrow, I couldn't stop you. What could I do? Tie you to the bed and say no you aren't leaving?"

"I just wish things were easier. Maybe then everything wouldn't be so messed up. I guess I acted out against Rosalie trying to get attention. I felt like I didn't belong here. I really don't belong. I am nothing like anyone in this family. I am an outsider. I shouldn't even be here. Shouldn't even be alive."

"She's not leaving because of you. She is leaving because she feels she no longer has a place here...Not because of you...I hope no one else leaves. This family needs to stay together. We need to have that strong hold. If it's any one's fault, it's mine." Edward confessed that it was just as much as his fault as any one else. If he was not as weak as he was when Aro had him in his clutches no one would be leaving. But, no matter what any one says to him, Edward thinks deep down that he is no longer a Cullen. Even though he carried the name. He was seriously thinking of going back to his human name....But that would disappoint Carlisle more...Edward could not do that to his father...

"Look at me. I am sitting here crying like an idiot and giving you some sob story you probably don't want to hear. You have enough problems on your plate as it is and I am probably boring you with my story." "Why did you save me that night Edward?" "Why did you not let me die that night? What was so special about me that I was required to stay alive?"

At least she chanced the subject. He walked over to her and grabbed his hand in hers...."Because you deserved a chance at life." He said sweetly at her. "You have a purpose for being here in this world. Not just our world either." He kissed her cheek softly as a friendly way of course....He was not going to let any thing happen to his sister while he was here. Even if he had a thirst for her. Edward backed away from Ana then as he tried to maintain self control over her. She smelled so sweet to his nostrils that he wanted to lay her on the bed and finish her off. But he made a promise to her...He could not let nothing happen...He made too many promises he could not keep. And that was not gonna happen with Ana...He backed away from her then...."I'm a vampire Ana.....It's not right for me to show you compassion or even friendship. But, I have to because I do not want to become a monster....I'm sorry that i have to make it seem like you are nothing. You are my sister. I love you. And if I hurt you, I'd never be able to forgive myself..." Edward moved farther away from her...She would see the pain in his eyes. The way he was being. He was telling her the truth.

[anastasia90]

That was something she feared. Edward was married to one woman and in love with another. That wasn't fair to anyone. "Are you happy? Are any of you truly happy?" Ana didn't want him to be unhappy. "Look, I really like Brooke, I do. But if you love this other girl more you should be with her. You need to do what is going to make you happy in the end, not think about others. You will only get screwed over in the end." Ana knew she was probably the last person to give advice on love, but she had read many a romantic novel she could at least help. She knew how things worked and she also knew the heart wanted things we sometimes didn't think it should want.

Ana had to shake her head. She knew better. "The fight between Rose and I. She had come in after I scraped her car and said she wanted to leave because of me. Jasper started yelling at me too. I don't know what I did to him. They both wanted to hurt me. I just, I don't think I should be here if I cause that much problem." It had always been a thought in her mind. She could go with Edward and Brooke to Italy, despite her wanting to be far from there. But she also knew that would cause Esme to be sad. She didn't want to hurt her, but she also knew she needed to do what was best for the family.

She had a purpose? She had to chuckle at that one a little bit. "I'm sorry if I am still trying to figure out what that purpose is since I have done nothing but screw up since coming here." It was a sad truth. Ana was a screw up. Seh knew it. Everyone knew it. But somehow Edward didn't see it. Maybe it was because he wasn't there all the time. That was possible. If he was, maybe she would be better. She wanted to be better for him.

As Edward backed away, Ana sighed. "Edward, you don't treat me like nothing. You treat me better than half the people in this house. For that I am grateful. I just wish you were here more so I could have that kind of compassion show towards me more." Ana wanted to cry. She felt like shit half the time here. But no she had to be strong. Make him think she was fine. She could stick it out. All she had to do is make it to graduation. Then she would be gone on her own. Then she was free.

[edwardcullen]

"Are you happy? Are any of you truly happy?" "Look, I really like Brooke, I do. But if you love this other girl more you should be with her. You need to do what is going to make you happy in the end, not think about others. You will only get screwed over in the end."

Truer words were never spoken. And this came from a 17 year old. Edward backed his way into the other wall. As he was as far from her as he could possibly be. But she was right. Why did it seem right for her to tell him that? But she was right. She sounded much like Esme when she told him that. She would've said the same thing. Maybe no in choice of words. But Esme would say it her way none the less. "But...I can't...They won't let me ten feet from her house." Yes he was speaking about Bella. And Ana would know. Edward knew Ana was not stupid. He didn't have to say a whole lot. But how could she know that he was still in love with Bella any way? He never told her he was.

"The fight between Rose and I. She had come in after I scraped her car and said she wanted to leave because of me. Jasper started yelling at me too. I don't know what I did to him. They both wanted to hurt me. I just, I don't think I should be here if I cause that much problem." "I'm sorry if I am still trying to figure out what that purpose is since I have done nothing but screw up since coming here." "Edward, you don't treat me like nothing. You treat me better than half the people in this house. For that I am grateful. I just wish you were here more so I could have that kind of compassion show towards me more."

"Maybe, you understand me a little too much." He said low but loud enough for her to hear him. She actually thought he was better then the others...? That was a first. Since he became a Volturi the others would just give him odds looks and stares that would make your blood run cold. If only he had blood in his stream...But he did get the shivers every time Rosalie looked at him. He felt like an out cast. And Ana was the only one keeping him here in this house. But he still did not trust himself. Which was why he refused to be any where near her now. "You don't know what you do to a vampire...I smell your blood and I want it so bad that it kills me a little more that I can not have you...I don't think you're trusting me is a good idea....Because I can not seem to trust myself..."