Let the Rain fall Down

[lilliandoyle]

Dear Diary,

So I am actually attempting to write in this thing.

I think the last time I tried to write in one of these was when I was like eight or something. Dad is always buying at least one of these things for me for my birthday every year.

I don’t think he will be buying anything for me after he finds out that I have moved out when he comes back from his trip. When he does find out, I don’t know how well it will end for either Mark or I.

I think it will be worse for me than Mark. Dad can just take me away from him. He’s always been good at hiding his anger with me in public until we got home. He just doesn’t understand that I am an adult now and that I can decide my own fate.

Then again, according to him, it’s not up to me to decide my fate.

It’s up to the power of God.

Bullshit.

Because of course the power of God flows through Dad’s veins, commanding him to beat up his daughter every time there is a hint of a rumor that she may be interested in a guy or that she even talks to a guy.

Dad is such an asshole.

I think he’s just a power hungry bastard that wants to control everything.

Maybe that’s why he and my mom got divorced.

I don’t know.

All I want is to stay with Mark and not have to be worried about coming home and being greeted with a punch in my face.

That’s all I want at this point.

Sigh…I’m sorry for forcing my negativity on you, diary.

There’s just so much going on. Everything is happening so fast that I don’t even know if I can handle it.

Good day for now, diary. I need to get back to classes.

~Lillian

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PROPERTY OF LILLIAN VICTORIA DOYLE

[lilliandoyle]

Dear Diary,

I am really starting to think that moving into Mark’s apartment is going to be a bad idea.

I know I promised that I wouldn’t be so negative, but it’s SO HARDDDDDD!!!!!!!

I mean, I really really really really really really like him.

But I don’t know why.

I am so sure that he doesn’t like me the way I like him.

Here are my reasons why:

1) I am too young. Well technically I am eighteen so anything can go but I am still in high school. What guy would want to date an immature high school student like me? Especially since he is like twenty three and he has his own car shop and his own apartment and stuff. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2) I am not all that pretty. I mean I have this ugly red hair that doesn’t like doing what I tell it to do and this pale skin that doesn’t tan. I have this stick of a body and really freaking huge boobs. I mean, what’s up with that? I am not even anatomically correct for Christ sake!!!!!

3) I have never ever been in a relationship before. That is an automatic strike.

4) My dad. My highly abusive bible thumping dad. There is no way)in hell that my father and Mark would ever get along. I mean, my father hates the idea of me even looking at a guy. What would stop him from killing me if Mark becomes interested in me and we end up dating? It might be less effort for him to not care about me than to deal with my father.

That’s all I can think of but I am sure, given time, I can think up more reasons why.

But I REALLLLLLLLLLY WANTTTTTTTT HIMMMMMMMMM TO LIKEEEEEEEE MEEEEE!!!!

I am so lame.

Really.

I am so freakin’ lame.

Anyway I should probably go off to bed, Diary.

Got to pack up a little and go on a hike with Mark tomorrow.

That should be fun.

So night.

~Lillian

PROPERTY OF LILLIAN VICTORIA DOYLE

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