++let me in

[WHITNEY!]

He had to push himself to request her presence, and he really had to push himself into inviting her to the meadow where he had known Bella and Edward had spent a large amount of time together. But the place was just so damn beautiful, and he knew Bella loved it. Steadily walking through the forest, his ears stayed perfectly on guard with his eyes scanning every single part of the scenery around him. It was a perfect day with in the boundary lines of the vampire-wolf territorial lines of Forks; there was no steam rolling across the damp ground. For once, warm sunshine peaked through the canopy cover, lighting what seemed to Jacob Black to be a direct, safe path through the forest.

Somehow he had managed to convince Sam to let him wander toward the specified area of the forest; it was pure luck. With a large heart beating ferociously with in his chest, Jacob's dark eyes surveyed his environment again with one last, quick scan before he sprinted toward the brighter area of the woods.

Sometimes he felt free in his true form, but not as free as he did when he had Bella. The reason he had asked her to meet him might have been futile and ridiculous, but Jacob would never give up on her even if she asked him to do so. A warm huff of a breath escaped his snout as he laid down beneath the warm rays of light, between the beauty of the flowers. Rolling over on his back, he easily pushed himself back into his human life and grinned warmly. No matter what the outcome might be, he still felt utter happiness that there was even time for him to see Bella with her busy life. He missed her...

He laid in wait, smiling on his back, with his hands tucked behind his head.

[bella]

The loud roar of Bella’s truck echoed through the surrounding forests as she made her way towards the forest path that lead to the meadow. It was a long walk without Edward and she wanted to be as close as possible before she began her hike. There was no doubt in her mind Edward knew what she was doing. Alice would have seen it, but the two of them hadn’t been in much contact lately. Since she had ditched school to make amends with Jake, Edward had been on edge…only rarely calling her. It wasn’t a change Bella liked, but it did give her time to figure some things out. The date they had chosen for her to be changed was approaching quickly and with every passing day, Bella grew frightened. Did she really want to be like them? Cold and frozen…never moving forward. Like Edward had said, it’s not even living...it’s merely existing. The more she thought about it, the more the desire to become a vampire faded from her mind…or maybe that was sheer insecurity. Either way, she didn’t care at the moment. Jake had requested that she meet him at the meadow, and that’s where her mind was.

Shifting the ancient truck into park, she grabbed her light brown jacket and got out. In Washington, even as summer approached, the forest was always cool. As if the clouds didn’t block out enough sunlight, the trees shielded the rest. Putting the jacket on, she began her descent up to the meadow.

It took her a while, but she finally reached it. Surprisingly, she had done so without hurting herself. That was a bit unusual, but she prided in thinking maybe she was becoming less clumsy. Probably not, but it was a hopeful thought. Peering up, she saw the felt the sun’s warm rays against her skin and she smiled. It was nice to feel its presence again. The lack of it made her miss her old life in Arizona. Even if she wasn’t tan like the others there, she still enjoyed the warmth and the energy she got from being in the sun. Somehow it just had a way of making people happier.

Peering across the meadow, she saw just the person she was expecting. Jake was lying in the grass, hands behind his head, peering up at the sky. It was weird. She half expected him to be sparkling. Half laughing to herself, she walked up to him and sat down beside him. “It’s peaceful isn’t it?” Her voice was soft and she smiled down at him, positioning herself lying next to him. She really was quite unsure of why he had asked her there, but she enjoyed the time with him nonetheless. “So what brings us here?” She asked, moving on her side and propping herself up slightly with her right elbow.

[WHITNEY!]

He had so many words planned but every one of them left him as he sensed her growing closer. That familiar scent of freesia flowers and a hint of strawberry filled his nose above all the other flower scents around him. Excitement danced in his stomach along with a shock of nervousness which blocked his ability to think straight. Bella Swan had always done that to him, but Jacob had never grown used to the feeling and, as of lately, the feeling continued to grow stronger… even when she was not around. Continuously the feelings for her he had intensified and he could barely resist wandering over to the Swan residence. Wishing to discard the nervous feeling sitting in his chest and wishing to fully embrace the happiness she brought to him, Jacob’s grin widened and his eyes brightened. He only hoped that she was at least half as happy to see him as he was her; and he hoped she would be able to make his life complete sometime soon.

With dark eyes still shut, he relaxed his body further into his place on the ground; he could not help but laugh as Bella fell into place next to him, just where she belonged. Sadly he lightly disregarded his natural impulse to reach for her soft hand, but the urge still lingered. “Oh, Bells,” He said. “I was half sure you wouldn’t come here for me. Just… damn. This place is so perfect.” And it was, indeed but how it would have been so more fitting if they were together. The romantic atmosphere surrounding them was powerful, and Jacob was having a hard time swimming through it to catch some fresh air. Mixing with the air, her essence poured over him, making it very difficult for him to control himself.

After a few thoughts and moments of him pondering selfishness Jacob sat up and looked to her with his adoring eyes. She was so beautiful, but above all else there was a look of her own adoration and love tucked beneath the shroud of friendship Bella had bestowed over them. He could tell Bella loved him and would continue to bring the feeling out from with in her as best he could because his own feelings were too strong to ignore anymore. He wanted her to accept it all- that they were perfect and made for each other; that he could protect her and give her the happiest, fullest, most perfect life ever. And if he could not, if he happened to fail her… he would die trying. The feeling was too strong to throw away or even push to the back of his mind anymore and he had been living in denial for the longest time of it all…

He grinned to her softly. As he caught a long gaze at her this time, he only felt a strong compulsion to pull her close to him and press his lips upon hers. Oh how he trembled for her touch, her kiss… her love. Before he knew it, subconsciously, he had leaned over and planted a kiss upon her cheek. As he drew back slowly, he had instantly forgotten the words she had spoke to him; his own escaped him when he came back into reality. “I… uhm…”

[bella]

The scent of the flowers surrounding them teased at Bella’s nose as she breathed steadily. Even in Jacob’s presence, she couldn’t help but be reminded of Edward. This was their place. So many memories were in this blossoming meadow and she couldn’t help but let the thought of him run through her mind. But she quickly pushed it away, wanting to remain focused on Jacob. He has asked her here for a specific reason, and she was curious as to what it was. Of course, she knew it would take some time before he openly said it…but even still she wanted to just be Jake and Bells.

There was a slight sting in his words as he indirectly mentioned the meadow being her and Edward’s place, but she decided to ignore it. That was a typical Jaocb statement and by now Bella had just learned to live with it. There was no point in arguing because they would just end up where they started. It was a vicious cycle, and slowly but surely she was starting to realize when to keep her mouth shut and when to retaliate. Now was a time for silence, and so she was. When he spoke of it being perfect, she couldn’t help but smile. Slowly she was starting to realize that not only was it perfect when she and Edward were here, but also when she and Jake were as well. A part of her felt guilty for feeling this way. In the beginning, she and Edward were inseparable, but now…they both seemed to almost be moving on. Almost. Every night there was still a desire to be curled up next to his icy cold skin, but it wasn’t as intense after being around Jacob for the day.

She could feel a few muscles tense as she forced the thought of Edward away once more. That time it was Jacob’s fault, but she wouldn’t say anything. She felt his warm, puppy dog eyes on her and she couldn’t help but smile and even take notice of a small blush forming on her cheeks. In that gaze, Bella’s breath caught in her throat. Never before had Jake gazed so intensely at her…like she was his world and his every breath. Once her heart found life again, she could feel it pounding beneath her chest. Her skin prickled with warmth and she was thankful a cloud passed by. It provided shade as a cool breeze whipped through, tousling her hair gently on her shoulders. But before she had any time at all to recover, she felt Jacob’s muscular frame move towards her and a soft kiss brush against her cheek. It was a moment she was not expecting…yet longed to have again. Her eyes couldn’t help but close as his frame lingered near her before he repositioned himself back down beside her…both of them speechless. She knew she should probably be mad, but no words of anger were forming and she didn’t want the moment to end.

Inhaling deeply, she looked back down at him playfully. “You missed me that much, huh?” She asked a bit awkwardly, her heart still racing wildly beneath her chest. Her breathing was a little quicker than before, but she tried her hardest to slow it down. A strand of hair fell in her face as she attempted to hide the forming blush by looking down, but she knew it wouldn’t help. Maybe…just maybe...she felt something more than friendship for boy lying next to her.

[WHITNEY!]

The warm blood in his veins only grew hotter and his heart rate continued to climb- beating quicker and harder against his inside organs as he looked at her. His breath had escaped him, as it usually did when in Bella’s presence. Her aura only caused him to easily slip into the dream world he lived in, where they were together and inseparable. Images of the perfection he could grant her danced through out his mind, and his grin lingered on his aching lips continuously as he stared at her. He nodded, catching the last bit of her musical voice and words, and readjusted himself slightly to answer her. “Yeah, actually…. Well, more than that little kiss on the cheek could ever reveal.”

He had a much stronger feeling through out his body as he laid next to her now. Though recognizable, it was much stronger and pulled him toward her more greatly now. Yes, he had missed her, but this was different. His mind had been so clouded by it all for the last few weeks; Jacob could barely rest at night. All the thoughts of where she was, what she was doing, if she was alright, who she was with, and what if something was about to happen to her smothered him to the point of restlessness each night. She probably had the feeling that he had been keeping a tighter watch over her, but it was much more than a few extra steps onto the Swan property every night. Jacob Black had not been able to keep himself away from her as of lately…. He felt he could not live with out her.

Shaking himself out of his daze again, Jacob sat up and positioned himself to look into her eyes. It was not going to be easy for Jacob to ask her the question, but for his own sake he had to know. Stumbling for words at first, a long moment passed before he- in his own adorable, innocent, loving Jake way- forced out the jumble of words clogging up his throat. “I don’t mean to sound rude, or start a fight… that is the last thing I want, Bells. I just… I just really need to know,” Another deep breath filled his chest as the shifter looked into that beautiful girl’s eyes; she was the one for him and he knew it. He needed to accept the fact that even if she did not want him, he was bound to her. “Are you and Edward still… a couple?”

[bella]

The moment Bells and Jake had just spent together lingered in her mind, making her wonder what it would be like to continue down that path. His warm arms sheltering her from harm; his kiss each night before she drifted into the world of dreams; his eyes showing love and devotion each time she caught them with hers. A feeling passed through Bella that she’d never felt before and for a moment, she was caught off guard. Her eyes looked down at the blades of grass below…something was different this time with Jacob. When her gaze returned to his, she no longer saw just her best friend for the past few months…she saw a man who she had genuine feelings for. Her heart raced and she felt her muscles tense for a moment. Could she really be falling in love with Jacob?

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard him speak of missing her more than a mere kiss could show. The blush grew in her cheeks and she couldn’t help but smile…a soft, nervous laugh escaping her lips. How was he doing this to her? How could he make her feel like the most important person in the world? In a way, she wished he would stop…she wasn’t treating him the same. She was taking advantage of his kindness, and guilt suddenly rushed through her. She wasn’t showing him the devotion he was giving to her…and that wasn’t fair. Biting at her lower lip, her gaze fell back to the meadow they laid in. The flowers were still ample in their beauty even though the cold of autumn and winter was approaching. Pretty soon, the meadow would be covered in a blanket of snow…each snowflake peacefully resting beside another…

Sighing gently, she finally forced her eyes to meet his again. She saw that longing look in his eyes and smiled weakly. He sat up and faced her, the once playful demeanor turning completely serious. Once his voice passed over the word fight she knew immediately it was going to be about Edward. She braced herself for what he was going to ask, and when he did…her heart sank and a sharp pain stabbed at her chest. She had been blocking out the pain Edward was causing her, refusing to go back down the same road she had in his absence. Honestly, had it not been for Jake…she wouldn’t be alive. He’d saved her life on more than one occasion, and she wasn’t about to put him through that again. Now was the moment…now was the time…Let go… she thought to herself and exhaled slowly. Admitting the inevitable was the first step to recovering. Even if she and Edward saw each other more…even if their love somehow re-sparked…Bella knew they were over. She was holding on to a false hope that he would one day feel the same about her as he had before. But, he wouldn’t. She had pushed him away too much and from the rumors at school, he had moved on…

Her eyes closed and her she ran one hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort as she remained silent. She didn’t want to say the words quite yet, but she knew she needed it to be known to someone else. A hurtful sigh escaped her lips and she shook her head, “No…” It was all she could muster, and even then she felt the familiar sting of tears. Her eyes looked away from Jacob, hating that she might possibly just let a tear fall in front of him. It was embarrassing…but more important, she didn’t want Jake to see the hurt she was feeling. He had done so much work to try and mend her the first time he had left, that she hated to put him through it again. Trying to steady her breathing, she finally spoke again. “He’s moved on…” She didn’t say ‘I think he’s moved on’ or ‘I’m pretty sure he’s moved on.’ No. She knew it in her heart that Edward no longer felt the love he had once felt for her. Their relationship had crumbled before her very eyes…and she was the reason for it. Tensing, she finally found the strength to look over at Jacob, trying her hardest to shield the knives that tore at her heart.

[WHITNEY!]

There had been resonating whispers with in the inner workings of his mind and heart, warning him the path he was about to wander down might not yield the best of result with in Bella’s body. Of course, being as persistent and stubborn as he knew himself to be, he did not listen. There were no interruptions, hesitations, or regrets when dealing with true, passionate love- even if there was a chance it was one sided and would forever be so. Every time she inhaled, he could feel her breath with in his own chest, as though they were one. The gravitational pull around her was too much to refuse; he moved closer toward her. Suddenly he felt a recognizable, painful essence glowing around her.

Immediately, everything hit him. The echoes of the rumors were not just rumors at all. If she wanted to believe whatever she wanted to believe, he had decided right then and there to allow her to believe it. Though he loved her and could not watch her wring in pain, he also felt it was wrong to try and pull her from what made her happy. It hurt him- thrashed the largest amount of pain against his warm Quileute skin- to see her ache… even if she would not admit it. With out having to hear her words, he gently pulled her into a soft hug, no matter how much his heart beat with rage. Edward Cullen had done the unthinkable and broken the one person Jacob could never leave… again.

After her words breached his ears, his hold on Bella’s small, aching frame tightened. He held in his words of hatred and rage, and only attempted to sort out some calm, soothing words for her. Though he was slightly happy to hear they were not together, he could not be fully happy until Bella was; selfishness was not a part of any of this. Pressing his lips against the side of her head, attempting to kiss her on her head through her soft, brown hair, Jacob was not fully sure what to say. How could you comfort someone who was heart-broken? For the first time, he was not going to push his luck and attempt to take advantage of her emotion-filled, confusion-ridden… beautiful, amazing self. Jake, that is not how this works at all and you know it. You hurt her more, you are going to hurt more.

And then he whispered to her as his head rested against hers lightly, “Bells… I’m so sorry. Whatever you need me for, I am here,” His words were slow and eloquent in that Jacob Black way, almost like that of a poem. When she turned to him and looked into his eyes, he could feel her unbirthed tears crashing all around him; the heartache was all too familiar to him and he knew she must have been crumbling inside.

Attempting to pull her even closer, Jacob could not stop himself from continuing on with the next few sentences. “I’m not, by any means, going to tell you that I was right. That’s not the way to go about this. I want you to get better, and if that means us being friends, then it just means that. I want to help you, Bella… I want to help you see the sunshine again and realize there is someone out there who is better for you. There is someone out there, whether turns out to be me or someone else, that will make you see everything is going to be alright.” Confidently, he continued on as he pulled away from her slightly- still holding on to her for her comfort. All of the nervousness he had felt about this particular subject mysteriously disappeared. “I love you, and you know that… but I realized recently that it’s more than that. I hurt when you hurt… I’m happy when you are happy. Everything about me revolves around and thrives off of everything about you. I live for you. So please, tell me what I can do to make you better- to make you happy?” He would do anything.

[bella]

For the sake of her sanity, she rediscovered the soothing powers of deep breaths. She inhaled as she was pulled into Jacob’s loving embrace and in that moment, her senses were overwhelmed. The light violet wild flowers that grew in that meadow all at once seemed to show their beauty. Jake’s warm, earthy scent filled her lungs and she found a small solitude of peace. His arms were strong around her, holding her as if it was their last moment together. There was a love pulsing through his body that Bella could feel…could almost tangibly touch. It was intense…powerful…and real. Had she really been so blind before as to not see it until he made it completely known? Was this where her heart truly belonged?

All at once his words reached her, and she felt her emotions once more take control. The tears continued to try and force their way forward, but she kept them at bay. Bella wasn’t one to cry in front of others unless absolutely necessary. Her heart was shattered…it seemed appropriate, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do so in front of Jacob. He was her rock, and as much as she hated to admit it, she needed him. He was the only thing that had remained constant in her life…comforting and protecting her even while she had been with Edward. He didn’t deserve to have his heart constantly broken…especially by her.

Her frame stayed with his for a moment, her arms wrapping around his neck. Almond brown eyes remained hidden from view as she kept her head buried in his shirt…her brow furrowing as she tried to cast away the memories of her and Edward. All she could feel was a gaping hole in her heart…one that literally ached. Why was this happening to her? What had she done wrong? Was saving his life not enough to prove her love? A small pain fell through her, wondering if she had made the right choice to leave Jake that night. All at once, she knew the answer was no.

Her silence encouraged Jacob to continue comforting him, but this time he pulled away…his eyes gazing into hers with intensity that she’d never felt before. He spoke of sunshine and happiness and a small spark of hope flared in her eyes. And as his words continued, she felt a comfort in her heart that she hadn’t been expecting. He spoke of his love for her…but it was much more than that. She not only heard it in his words, but she felt it as he spoke. This wasn’t just another plea for love…it was a pure desire for her happiness…

“Jake…” Her words were barely a whisper as she kept her gaze with his. Without thinking about it, her hands moved to his…holding them gently. “Thank you…” She said with a weak smile, sincerity apparent in her voice. Once more she inhaled deeply, trying to keep herself under control. “Maybe…if I could just…maybe stay with you for a couple days..?” She asked, hating to invite herself over. “It’s just…I’m scared to be alone…” She felt like a complete wimp for saying it, but it was the truth. Being alone gave her ample time to think about what was happening, and to dwell too much on it, would only make matters worse. Silence filled the air, but it was not void of hope. Sunshine rained down upon them, illuminating the entire meadow in its beauty. Her eyes lingered on their hands as she awaited his response.

[WHITNEY!]

As their eyes met in a locked gaze again, Jacob could feel her emotions running up and down his own spine again causing an almost cooling sensation crash over him. As much as it pained him to assure her he was going to be the one constant with in her life, he had to do it. No matter how much pressure was being exuded onto his fragile heart, Jacob Black had to get the message to Bella as best he could. Forever he would be standing, feet firmly planted on the ground, and arms open freely for her, to be her sunshine and stability and hopefully the one main source of happiness she constantly had with in reach. The bond they shared secured it all and helped him regulate his own feelings as he comforted her and attempted to pull her from her sorrow. The feeling of her cool, delicate hands soothed the inner moving city of nerves and feelings, as well as brought the smile back to his face. As they sat, gazing to each other- and as Bella sat pleading to him, Jacob fought with himself. How much longer could he continue to cryptically tell her the truth- of his feelings? Only staring into her eyes and feeling her serene touch made it all the more difficult to hold it all end.

As they sat, as if in their own world, everything became illuminated so greatly by the sun's peaceful rays. His heart skipped a beat when she spoke of staying with him; obviously he had no reservations about the thought. Through his human senses, he could tell she was doing her best to stay strong, but for how much longer could it continue? There was no way to tell, and he was not about to press the matter. "Bella, honey," Jacob began slowly, as his grin crept back across his lips- the corners cracking up his cheeks toward his ears. There had always been something about Jacob's smile that had seemed to brighten Bella up; he only hoped it would work this time just as well as it had before. "You are welcome to stay with me any time. You don't even have to ask."

She was too beautiful a creature to be so broken and used. She was too perfect an angel to have her wings torn from her soft, fragile spine. She was too brilliant a soul to be coerced into anything. She was too amazing to cry. All Jacob Black wanted to do was hold her; he wished to hold her to his chest and simply spew his infamous Jacob blurbs into her ears and cause her to laugh that musical laugh he loved. Something with in the air, some essence surrounding her lingered, causing Jacob to realize it was going to take everything he had to bring his Bella back, but he was more than willing. He took her hands into his to secure them and intertwine his fingers with hers. "You don't ever have to be alone, Bella. You know that. But tell me what else I can do to make that feeling in your chest go away. Please," He begged her as the grin disappeared and faded into an almost hurt facade, only to have his usual playful expression jump into his face muscles. "Just tell me anything that will make you happy and I will do it! Name... five things for me to do- today- and I will!"

[bella]

Jacob’s warmth was all she needed to realize that she would be okay. His words, his smile, his embrace told her that, no matter what, she would get through this. She would move on and be happy with Jake and the rest of the Quileute tribe. Perhaps it was his determination and perseverance to heal her broken heart, or perhaps it was how perfect her fingers fit with his. She couldn't explain it, but somehow she just knew. Just breathe… She told herself, as she let her eyes rest upon the relentless man in front of her. He would do anything to see her smile, and Bella couldn’t help but feel alive when she was around him. The void that Edward had left and strung along seemed less in Jake’s presence. All at once, she was thankful for her best friend.

A small sigh of relief escaped her frame as Jake said she could stay with her anytime. Being in her room right now reminded her too much of the nights she had spent with Edward by her side…and she just needed to stay as far away from that as possible. She prayed the nightmares wouldn’t return. For months after Edward’s first disappearance, she had been the walking dead itself…barely sleeping, never eating…her life and existence had ceased.

This time would be different though. She had hated where she had been previously, and so had everyone around her. This time they wouldn’t let it happen. She wouldn’t let it happen. If she wasn’t becoming immortal, she only had once chance at this life, and she wasn’t going to waste it pining over someone who didn’t want her. Edward… Her thoughts were a thousand words a minutes, pictures of their time together flashing through her mind. She hated it. Why did he have to come back? Why couldn’t she had just saved him and come back to Forks alone? No…that would have been worse. She wasn’t sure how…but somehow it would have been worse.

Jake’s signature smile pulled her out of her thoughts, pulled her back to reality with him. She felt the warmth shining on her face, and she closed her eyes for a moment. Reopening, she heard Jacob’s lightening laugh and his demand for five things to do. He was so carefree; she couldn’t help but laugh lightly. “Thanks Jake…maybe let’s just do something to keep my mind off it?” Her hand squeezed his softly. She knew he was trying, and that alone meant the world to her. “Anything happening on the Reservation?” She asked, trying to think of something the two of them could do that would keep her mind and soul away from the living dead who had broken her.