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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 5, 2010 22:39:18 GMT -5
On the hunt again. But today he was not alone. Actually it was just before day break when this was taking place. Luckily for vampires can't sleep. Edward was hunting with Esme today. He asked her personally through her mind to hunt with him. He wanted some one to talk to openly with. With out the use of mind power....He asked Esme cause she was not like the other family members. She was caring and understanding and listened to problems in stead of trying to interrupt the message being said.
Edward rushed through the woods. As he did so he couldn't keep himself on the situation before them. He was just so consumed with his emotions right now. He suddenly stopped though, before he tripped over some thing or just clumsily did so. He pressed his hand against the tree he was near and just thought about that day in Italy. He thought Bella was sincere with all she did to try and save his life. But now he wished she hadn't done any thing. Some times he wished they had just plain out killed him. Cause now instead of things getting better, they had gotten a lot worse. With Bella spending so much time with that dog....
Edward spotted a rabbit not far from him. But he made no effort to catch it. He was too torn up right now and confused. He didn't know himself now if he should keep that condition he gave Bella that day. Where he said that he would turn her on one condition. And she still has not answered him .... If he had a heart it would be breaking every time he saw her hug that mutt. Or heard that she spent that day with him. Edward wanted so much to cry. He had wished for tears once, this was one time he wished he could just cry....
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 5, 2010 22:57:29 GMT -5
Esme was suddenly behind Edward with a concerned look on her face, "Edward... Talk to me. I am worried for you..." She told him. The rabbit's beating heart was semi taunting but her son was the most important thing right now. She moved to stand in front of him and set a hand on his cheek and gave him a small smile, "Talking will help you. And I know sometimes Emmett is a jerk, Jasper is a bit harsh, Rosalie is self absorbed, and Alice is a bit too peppy at times but I am always here and so is Carlisle." she told him, "And if you ever tell any of them I said that about them you might lose your favorite son status." she joked with him.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 5, 2010 23:14:39 GMT -5
"Edward... Talk to me. I am worried for you..." He had his eyes closed when she placed her hand on his cheek then. And he opened his eyes to look into hers...There was pain in his eyes. Any one would see that. "Talking will help you. And I know sometimes Emmett is a jerk, Jasper is a bit harsh, Rosalie is self absorbed, and Alice is a bit too peppy at times but I am always here and so is Carlisle." "And if you ever tell any of them I said that about them you might lose your favorite son status."
Edward turned away from her then....He could care less about the favorite son status. "I'm fine...." But that was a total lie. And he was lying to his mother...Well not his real mother. But to Edward, Esme was his step mother. And he had a great deal of respect for her. He then lowered his head. And shook it. "I'm sorry, I lied...You see deeper in me than any other of the others...There is some thing wrong. I think Bella's having second thoughts...."
He really did think. He didn't know. For Bella was the first person who's mind he could not read. He knew he had to hunt before the dawn broke loose. But, he was not worried about that part of him right now. For once he wanted to be human again....Maybe then if he was, then Bella would not leave him...What was he thinking? Bella leaving? She hasn't eve made that decision yet. But it was plain to see.....
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 6, 2010 0:01:41 GMT -5
"I was just kidding about the favorite son status thing." She told him when he turned away from her, it hurt her that Edward was being like this, it hurt even more to know how much Edward was hurting. "I am sure Bella will come around. She is just enjoying her life while she still can." Esme told her son, "All you can do is be there for her. Be waiting with open arms for her when she is ready for this all." she told him softly.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 6, 2010 0:16:14 GMT -5
"I was just kidding about the favorite son status thing." "I am sure Bella will come around. She is just enjoying her life while she still can." "All you can do is be there for her. Be waiting with open arms for her when she is ready for this all."
"It's more complicated than that...Nothing would make me happier than for that to happen. To see her at my door step and just telling me yes to everything. I love her. But, I just don't think she even loves me as deeply as she once has." With that said, Edward walked over to a huge rock and sat on it. It was still dark out too. So not a single soul in their right mind would be out this far in the woods. Unless it was another vampire or a wolf....
Edward tried to act like everything was normal around everyone else. But Esme knew...It was a point in time where Edward gotten mad at his siblings for not accepting Bella. Especially Rosalie....Now things were a lot different. He was so hurt from the way Bella acted around him now. Like she was walking on egg shells around him or some thing...But Esme was right of course. Time could heal all....All he need was to wait....That gave him a peace of mind. Not a lot. But enough for right now. He placed his hands on his face and rubbed them down.....
"Some times I wish the Volturi had killed me...What's wrong with me?" He sighed heavily....As he just sat there and thought about what he almost did for Bella. He was ready to die to be with her....And did she not even love him for that? She still loved him....But Edward always reminded himself....Not like she used to....
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 6, 2010 11:53:14 GMT -5
"It's more complicated than that...Nothing would make me happier than for that to happen. To see her at my door step and just telling me yes to everything. I love her. But, I just don't think she even loves me as deeply as she once has." Edward told her and she nodded, "Some times I wish the Volturi had killed me...What's wrong with me?" This would have made Esme's heart leap if she had had one.
"You shouldn't that Edward." Esme said softly, "She wouldn't have stopped you if she didn't love you. She is just going through a rough time choosing between the two, but I am sure she will come back to you." she told her son as she walked over to where he sat.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 6, 2010 21:20:12 GMT -5
"For a while now I kept telling her, she didn't want this. To be like us...Forever. To live forever....There the consequences....She would not be able to see her family like she would love to. Maybe she is better off with Jacob....At least with him she will still remain human. But then again, I don't want her to choose him....I want her to choose me....Am I being selfish right now? If she does not choose me, what then?" This was easier for Edward to talk to Esme open and freely with out the use of his telepathy. He was scared that if he said some thing in front of the family he'd get a lot of angry responses. Cause even Edward knew they were wanting to get on with their lives...Except Alice...That Edward knew that Alice was gonna be there for Bella regardless of who she chooses....
Edward looked down and thought about the wedding...What if it did take place? And he did marry Bella? That would most likely be the most happiest day of his life. He knew he was dwelling on thoughts that were not even in to picture yet. They had yet to happen. But, he knew that if even if Alice saw it, that her vision could always change. And if she ever told him that she knew Bella's choice before he did, she had better tell him. And hold that information from him...Alice was kinda like Edward. When Edward knew some thing, he didn't want to just blurt it out...."I can just see it in her eyes....The way she looks at him...I know it's ridiculous to think of things like this....Especially from me. It's pure jealously. I know it...." |
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 7, 2010 0:44:18 GMT -5
"I know it is hard. I can't imagine going through this myself..." Esme started, "But you are one of the strongest men out there. You have had a rougher time than all of us and it is a bit unfair that this is happening." She shut her eyes and set a hand on her sons shoulder before finishing her statement, "But you out of all of us can handle this the best. If you two are meant for each other then all will end well." she told her son calmly. She feared that her son might lose control of his emotions if he lost Bella and honestly hoped he would be okay.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 7, 2010 19:25:37 GMT -5
"I know it is hard. I can't imagine going through this myself..." "But you are one of the strongest men out there. You have had a rougher time than all of us and it is a bit unfair that this is happening." Edward nodded. He has had a rough time this year. But he never put himself on a pedestal before. That is before Bella came into his life. Now all the Cullens were seeming to be postponing their lives....What life they had that is...But still, Edward right then felt the coldness emotion of selfishness....He was acting selfish....
"I'm sorry. You need a life too. Not worry about me so much. Maybe you and Carlisle need a vacation...."
"But you out of all of us can handle this the best. If you two are meant for each other then all will end well."
That's just it. He was not so sure about that now. He remembered the reason he stayed in Forks. Because of Bella. She made him promise once to never leave her. He simply stated he had no where else to go...But just then he did leave her...And that was the point to where he thought, maybe Bella thought that since he was gone, he was gone forever. Until that one call he made to the Swan house that night and he thought Bella was dead. Simply because Jacob told him that her father was making funeral arrangements...
Edward felt Esme's hand on his shoulder and that brought him back to the present....
"I think my emotions are just being tested....It's the only explanation....But, Esme, I don't think I would be able to deal with the thought of her telling me it is over...." This is what Esme was fearing....And he was true to his emotions. She knew that. He was already an emotional wreck. And if Bella told him that she was leaving him....There's no point in living any more....Why was this so hard...? Edward thought it would be easy if Bella decided to be with Jake....But, now, he was a total mess and nothing has even happened yet! "Has Alice said any thing to you?" Meaning has Alice seen some thing Edward didn't know about? And they were just keeping it from him?....They wouldn't do that...No they would not betray and keep that a secret from him.... |
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 19, 2010 10:35:13 GMT -5
"No, Alice hasn't told me anything." Esme told him, "But you would know before the rest of us did if that changed." she sat down on the rock beside him and watched him carefully. "Make new friends, Edward. It would never hurt to have people outside your family that care about you." she let out a small sigh and thought for a moment.
"I am always here for you to talk to... But I am sure you already knew that." Esme told him. It was tearing her up to see Edward this way. And he was right; Esme, along with the rest of the Cullen's, had all halted their lives for Edward. But she never held it against him, every other member of the family had found their mate, the person they were meant to be with forever, but Edward hadn't until Bella Swan came to Forks and if this is where he would find his true love then Esme would make sure they stayed there.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 19, 2010 16:29:42 GMT -5
"No, Alice hasn't told me anything." "But you would know before the rest of us did if that changed." "Make new friends, Edward. It would never hurt to have people outside your family that care about you."
Edward bit his lip....She was right. I am always here for you to talk to... But I am sure you already knew that." He smiled sweetly at her...But he was really torn into two about the decision he knew that was coming to him if Bella chose Jacob over him...Edward felt bad that the other Cullens were sucked into this. They've sacrificed a lot and for what would most likely end up in a break up instead of a make up...."I'm sorry I put you and the others in to so much of this drama that will most likely end the other way around....You guys don't did all you could to help me and Bella survive a relationship that was doomed from the start....It's clear to everyone who she wants to be with....Maybe...Maybe if i had not left her...It would be completely different now....I'm sorry Esme...I failed you..." Right now the thought of ever having another relationship was indeed looking slim for him....He was not even wanting to socialize with anybody new....Especially not human wise....Who else in this little town was not human he knew that was a slim number....The vampires were low here...And Esme knew how dangerous it was for him to be around humans. If he slipped to them what he was...Then it would mean hell for him...And he couldn't do that to Esme....Not now...She has raised him like her own son..."Guess I'm not the son you thought you would have...."
((This is still before Brooke^^))
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 21, 2010 12:59:12 GMT -5
“You could never fail me, Edward…” Esme told him simply, “Add your relationship wasn’t doomed from the start. Things happen the way they do for a reason. You left her because you thought she would be safer that way and honestly she was. What happened that night was terrifying and could have ended her life and you did what you had to do to ensure it would never happen again.” She said with a small amount of sadness to her voice. She set a hand on his knee and squeezed in encouragingly and gave him a small smile.
“You are a great man, Edward… Don’t think that you could ever let me down because you can’t.” she told him, “Just promise me you will meet new people, it wouldn’t kill you.” She reiterated for him, “Just do your best and know you will always have my support.” She told him.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 21, 2010 16:45:07 GMT -5
“You could never fail me, Edward…” Edward looked up at her with hope in his eyes. “Add your relationship wasn’t doomed from the start. Things happen the way they do for a reason. You left her because you thought she would be safer that way and honestly she was. What happened that night was terrifying and could have ended her life and you did what you had to do to ensure it would never happen again.”
Esme was the one he knew who would not see him as a monster for any reason what so ever. He knew she was the loving mother he's always loved. Before he lost his real mother she told him that he was not a mistake to know. And have as a son. She would love him like her own. And that was a relationship so far that was not broken between Edward and Esme...
“You are a great man, Edward… Don’t think that you could ever let me down because you can’t.” “Just promise me you will meet new people, it wouldn’t kill you.”
"Kinda hard...For some one like me. Maybe I just need some time with vampires for once...Different ones...Not just my siblings...But others...I was thinking of moving to Port Angeles for a while if you and Carlisle don't mind."
He had no idea that later on he would meet a girl so intoxicating that he will be asking her hand in marriage really soon...No one in the Cullen family would see that coming....Not even Edward. For what will how they will meet...And that happens to be the right time when he breaks up with Bella and lets her be with Jacob. But still this is not helping the way he feels right now...Esme knew how down he was feeling. That was why she said in fact that he needed to meet new people. That was kinda hard considering he was a vampire...But he knew what she meant....
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Post by DANTE ALLEGRETTI on Oct 28, 2010 16:34:39 GMT -5
Esme frowned when he said he wanted to move but she would always support him, “If that is what you need than I am sure everyone will be okay with it.” she told him lightly, “We will always be here waiting for you after all.” She added to him swiftly. She was silent for a moment as she listened to the forest around them. “Meeting other vampires will be good for you. I am sure of it.” She said, her voice was firm but still soft as she spoke. She stood up and walked a few feet away from her son before turning back around to face him with a soft smile.
She knew how hard this all was on Edward, but she also knew he would make it through it. He was a strong man after all. She was sure he would be okay. Little did she know a new vampire would enter their lives soon and completely change Edward for the better. A girl who would but her entire being into loving him. A girl who would need him just the same as he needed her. This girl would change the course of everything the Cullen’s thought would happen.
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Post by edwardcullen on Oct 28, 2010 23:07:47 GMT -5
Edward gave her a simple small smile then....He knew she was confident in him...And that was enough for him to pick his head up again and move on....With that he stood up from where he was and walked right over to his mother and hugged her. This was his way of showing appreciation......He knew she knew that as he pulled away from her and they both would start to head back to house right before dawn.....
((THE END^^))
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