"Until your heart stops beating..." - [Jacob]

[bella]

The inner workings of Bella Swan were never easy to understand. She was a teenage girl thrown into the shadowed world of vampires and shape-shifters without even the slightest warning. How was this even possible? Just two years ago, she had been in Arizona, faded into the background of her high school. Every day routine was boring and there was never any unexpected excitement. A part of longed to be back in that awkward lifestyle; rising and sleeping for the sake of time to go by. At least if that were the case, she wouldn’t be scared for the life of her best friend. The vampire venom that coursed through his veins was killing him…slowly and painfully. He wouldn’t last long under human care. He needed Carlisle.

Sam’s car whirled down the streets of Forks, speeding to the hospital. Beside her in the backseat, she could hear Jacob’s pride trying to mask his pain, but every now and then his barrier fell and she heard him groan. It tore at every part of her, and she cursed herself for ever getting so close to him. He wouldn’t be in this situation if she hadn’t been so torn up about Edward’s leaving. Their relationship would have just remained a friendship…that’s it. But, she had made that step and gone to see him with the motorcycles. She had clung to him and found herself missing him at all times. He had been her haven in Edward’s absence, but now that he was back…all chaos had broken loose.

The Volturi were unhappy with Edward’s decision to not join and his justification to expose the vampire race. They knew with Bella in the picture, Edward would never be able to move past his love for her. With her gone, he would have no choice. That’s why they decided to attack. They had showed up in the meadow, surrounding Bella. Scared for her life, she had tried to scream out for help, but to no avail. She was alone with some of the most feared vampires known. Almost accepting death as inevitable when Aro lunged for her, a large rusty colored wolf proved her savior. Instead of the venom poisoning her blood, Jacob had received the bite. Knowing the Pack would be close behind as Jacob’s screams filled the forest, the Volturi had fled. Sam entered the clearing and quickly brought Jacob to his car before speeding off towards the hospital.

When they arrived, Sam immediately spoke to the nurses about have Dr. Cullen examine him and they nodded in understanding. Jacob was put onto a bed and then wheeled away before Bella could even say a word. Her heart sank; fear and sadness filling her completely. She could feel the adrenaline still moving through her veins as Sam put his arm around her in fatherly manner, escorting her into the waiting room. There really wouldn’t be much they could do until Carlisle came out. Even when dealing with the paranormal, one still had to act human and that meant abiding by the rules. For now, she waited. Her head was buried in her hands as she bit at her lower lip, the news flashing on the television in the corner. Looking up, she tried to focus on something else…but all she could think about was losing her best friend.

[WHITNEY!]

Jacob had once thought heartbreak was the worse pain he could ever feel until those pearly, venomous fangs sunk into his warm skin, piercing everything with in him. Almost immediately as the fangs sunk through his skin, his boiling blood, his emotions, and his pride, Jacob saw black. His ears began to ring and he could no longer feel oxygen flowing through his lungs. His body went limp and, in falling to the ground, the young boy could no longer feel anything. His heavy body thumped to the cold earth, but it felt the same as falling into a pile of leaves. Jacob knew his screams of pain were louder than anything on the Earth, but he could hear nothing at all. His brown eyes were useless and he could barely think straight. He felt hands pick him up and put him somewhere, but he could not figure it out; there was no possible way the young boy could even concentrate on it all. He did not care where he was going, or what was going to happen to him; in his Jacob way, he still only cared about Bella. Though everything just came out as a groan or gasp of pain, he continued and continued to try and ask if she was alright. No voices responded to him; there were only hands moving him onto objects and into doorways he could not make out. Somewhere with in his mind, he knew where he was but the pain overtook him.

The venom had continued to travel through his body; Jacob knew it was only a matter of time when he had to throw in the towel. He knew it was only a matter of time before he ceased to exist and Bella would be forever with out knowing how he truly felt. He was mad at himself as he laid nearing death with in the hospital bed. His vision was still blurry, but at least he could make things out now; the colors had returned to life. Jacob attempted to move his head from one side to the other and his spine became instantly plagued with the greatest of pains; the urge to scream bit at the back of his tongue, but he resisted as best he could. With such a busy mind, the tough boy could only worry about was Isabella Swan and if she was alright. He would die for her; he would give his life just to make sure she was alright. But who would be watching after her when he was gone? The boy had to push and stress himself to be fine, though with a large number of IV's pressed into him, the fluids might not help.

Carlise had muttered something to him just before leaving the room, but Jacob could not understand what he had said. Slowly he turned his head and watched the doctor leave the room. Carlise alerted the nurses at the desk that he could be in charge of Jacob and that there was to be no other staff member entering into the room unless they were with him specifically. Swallowing a breath, he turned on his heels and walked to the waiting room just down the hall and took a seat next to Bella, quietly and gently. "He still isn't stable," He whispered very, very quietly. "But I managed to get most of it. I'm having to flush the rest out with fluids, but I am not exactly sure if it will work. He seems to be regaining his vision and he can move, but he is still in a large amount of pain. I'm... sure he would enjoy it if he at least saw you." The vampire hugged her, knowing that she needed it, and stood up to walk away and ponder what to do if the fluid flush did not work.

[bella]

Bella’s mind remained flooded as she sat in the waiting room. At one point, Sam had gone to alert Emily of what was happening, and she had pulled her knees in close to her body. Her heart was breaking, shattering as she thought of the worst that could come from the situation. Jacob Black would be gone. Her best friend and her warmth would be gone. She felt all of her muscles lock on thinking about it and it was all she could do to force back the tears that wanted so badly to fall. Her gaze was distant, and anyone else in the waiting room knew that she had a very severe situation at hand. No one approached her, but she felt sorrowful looks in her general direction. Looks of pity and of compassion. She wished she was alone; to receive those looks only made things worse. Arms wrapped around her folded legs, she buried her head in her arms. She didn’t want to see anyone or hear anything…she just wanted to be beside Jacob. She wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that he would be fine. But, she knew the chances of that were slim to none.

She remained in that position until she felt a familiar presence enter the room. It held a calming yet somewhat authoritative feel, and she knew it must be Carlisle. Resituating herself in the chair she looked over at him when he sat beside her. His voice was very hushed as he obviously didn’t want anyone but her to hear. A small relief passed through her as he spoke of having removed most of the venom, and she inhaled deeply. That still didn’t mean they were in the clear. Not by a long shot. It would still be up to Jacob if he could hold on instead of letting the pain take control.

Nodding at what Carlisle said, she smiled weakly and whispered softly as he hugged her. “Thank you, Carlisle.” The cool of his embrace reminded her of Edward’s and she was sure he had been alerted of the situation by his father. But, something told Bella that he would stay away while all of this played out. In fact, in all honesty, the last thing she wanted was for him to be here. She wanted to be by Jacob’s side through all this…not Edward’s.

As Carlisle walked away, Bella looked up at the clock. It was nearing one o’clock in the morning and she could feel the tiredness and exhaustion in her own muscles. But, somehow she was wide awake and alert. Shoving her hands in her pocket, she tried her hardest to keep from losing it as she walked to the receptionist and asked what room Jacob Black was in. Smiling awkwardly in thanks, she slowly walked down the hall the smell of medical and sickness filling her lungs. She was never a big fan of hospitals, especially since she was there quite often. Perhaps if her visits were rare, she wouldn’t feel so uneasy walking through the halls.

Finally reaching his room, she knocked twice on the door before peeking in. She doubt her heard the knocks, but it was always polite. Looking in, she saw his lying in a hospital gown, with IVs attached to nearly every part of him. Just looking at him, so sick and weak made the tears break at her eyes and she felt one slide down her cheek. Walking further in, she closed the door and then moved to his side. For a moment, she just gazed down at him, unsure of what to say. But then as natural as the rising sun, she moved her hand to his and managed a small smile. “Jake…it’s Bella.” She whispered, unsure if he could hear her at all. Even if he couldn’t, she was still in his line of sight. He would at least be able to see her. Her thumb stroked at the skin of his hand tenderly, biting at her lower lip as she just gazed at him…forcing back her tears.

[WHITNEY!]

He felt so completely useless. Lying with in a hospital bed, with no energy and not a damn thing he could do about anything on the Earth, he wanted to cry. His generally calm, positive mind raced with so many uncontrollable thoughts. Everything he had wished he could ever do with Bella, give to Bella, do to Bella drowned him. The images of her face and the echoes of her laughs filled his head and only eased some of the pain. His eyes fell shut slowly, as though he could fall asleep to her at any point. If this is how I should die, I guess it’s alright… At least I saved her one last time, right? Heart beating faintly with in his chest, he could sense her all too closely now- as though she was with him. Taking a harsh, deep breath and dealing with the pain as best he could, Jacob left her soft hand collide with his. Her voice once more filled his head. A sleepish grin danced upon his lips, as he felt he was in a dream. “Bells… I…”

Before he could realize it all to be reality, the boy’s eyes flooded with tears as he lay still beneath the sheets. His warm body felt cold and he felt as though his dreams were the only place he might ever see her again. Tear by tear they quickly fell down the sides of his face and onto the white sheets beneath him. So terribly did he wish to hold her; so painfully did he wish to live. She was his only reason for existing and the boy could only continue to wish she had known it and understood it all. Not only did he exist for her, but his heart beat for her- by choice and by nature.

He went to move and instantly stopped but not because of the pain shooting through out his body. Brown eyes popped open and his head snapped in her direction while his hand immediately turned over to grasp hers. With still fuzzy vision, Jacob could make her out all too easily. Clearly, as though she was the angel he had been searching for, Jacob could see her, with the saddest of looks upon her face. All of the hurt and the pain still existed but he could no longer feel himself- he could only feel his life with in her. His heart beat a little more rapidly than before, slowly getting back into its usual rhythm. The tears continued to trek from his eyes. “Bella,” He forced out in a cough; his diaphragm contracted in a sharp sting. He laid his head back down on the pillow after a moment more of trying to speak; sweat began to bead upon his forehead. “I don’t want to go… I can’t leave you…” Jacob Black whispered. “I won’t.”

[bella]

The room he was in was silent except for the soft hum of the machines he was hooked up to. His heart was moving bouncing from one extreme to the other as a few moments passed. As she looked at him, she saw tears begin to slide down his cheeks and her heart shattered into a million pieces. No one should have to go through this, but especially not Jacob. All he ever wanted in life was to love and protect her. How was that a crime, and how did it deem such terrible punishment? Her heart ached as she moved closer to him, her other hand moving down his cheek. He looked so tormented, so hurt and alone. Bella couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, and as she sat beside him…she found her whole world crumbling down. It was in that moment that she realized just how strongly she was attached to the young wolf before her. She had seen Edward be so close to death and the emotions she felt were nothing like this. She wanted so much to wake him up, to make the tears cease to exist, but she couldn’t. She was too afraid something bad would happen if she startled him too much.

That was when she felt his hand secure around hers and his eyes open. His heart beat wildly and it caused the monitor to flash red for a moment, worrying Bella like crazy. She knew his vitals would be different than an average human’s…but any time flashing red was involved, Bella always worried. Her own heart leapt beneath her skin, thankful and almost relieved to see him still alive, though Death’s grip on him was still very near. “Shh…Jacob...” She whispered, trying to soothe him as she kept her hand on the side of his face, wiping away the tears that continuously rolled down his cheeks. There was a thin film of sweat forming on his skin and she knew that was never a good sign. Her hand gripped more at his, as if holding onto his hand would be the only way to ensure he survived. “Everything’s going to be fine…Carlisle is taking care of you…” Her voice cracked a bit as she spoke, choking on her own words. The tears were growing more and more, but she held back as best as she could. For once, he needed to see her strong.

Looking over him, she saw no evidence of the bite on his neck or arms, but as her eyes traveled to his side, she saw the bandage that Carlisle had wrapped around his torso. Her body tensed and for a moment she gazed down at the scar on her wrist. The skin there would always be a few degrees cooler than anywhere else, and she sighed…hating that she’d put him through all this. “I’m sorry, Jake…” Was all she could muster. She wanted to say more, but no words were coming through. It was her fault he was in this situation. Had she just stayed away from Edward like he had warned in the first place, none of this would have happened. She wouldn’t have fallen apart when Edward left, she wouldn’t have gotten close to Jacob, and Jacob wouldn’t be fighting for his life. Guilt and remorse fell over her, and she turned her gaze away from him…looking at the IVs and the several machines. She only hoped he would hang on and fight just one more time for her. She needed him, and she hated that it took something like this to make her realize it.

[WHITNEY!]

“It… it isn’t your fault,” Jacob pushed himself to speak again; laughs suddenly fell upon him painfully. The shifter tried to stop himself but failed. He was slowly growing numb from the pain. As best he could, he grinned up at her lightly. “Well, I…. I guess it kind of is huh?” Though his words blamed her, he still could not. She might not have listened to him when he told her to stay away from Edward Cullen, but Jacob could never fully come to terms that any of this was Bella Swan’s fault. It was not her fault he had needles beneath his skin and fluid being pumped into and out of him. It was not her fault that he could not move with out feeling the worst physical pain in the universe. It was certainly not her fault that he, Jacob Black, was in the hospital- from no matter which side he looked at the situation. He gripped her hand as tightly as his muscles would allow.

Something with in him felt much better, though the digital vital signs upon the monitor above his bed might have said something completely different. “Bella… No,” He refused, like the stubborn Black he was. Jacob would continue, no matter how much it pained him, to speak and hang on as long as she existed. “I’m not going to stop. I won’t stop any of this…. I won’t stop talking; I won’t stop breathing because I do it all for you….” Gasping for air silently, Jacob Black gazed into her eyes as best he could. Why could she not understand he would not rest? He could not rest with out her. “I can’t sleep. I won’t because you will just be gone… Isabella Swan, I can’t stop living and I damn well refuse to go anywhere.” The wound on his side began pulsating beneath the dressing but he continued to ignore it. His heart beat quickly with in his chest and the muted beeps from the monitor began to match its speed.

He could not understand where all of his bad luck had arisen from, but he accepted it. The IV’s he was attached to, the bed he was in, and the entire situation were only things that were leading him to something greater and he could believe it now. Just when he thought he was about to be forced to let go, she had touched him. Just when the light had began to entice him and the angels had began to sing his name, she out-sang them all. His grin slowly faded and his eyes fell down to their hands. He was still alive and until she was gone from the Earth, he would remain so.

“Please tell me he said this would work,” He whispered in reference to the fluids; the pain was returning to him slightly. Jacob just wanted to hold her with out every inch of his body burning with the fire of a thousand suns. “Bella, what if it doesn’t work?” Now worried eyes flickered back up to her.

[bella]

Bella’s eyes remained glossy underneath the fluorescent lights of the hospital room as she looked down at Jacob. Everything in him tried to be ignoring the pain, but she could see it plain as day on his face. Her heart ached for him, longed for all of this to just go away. He didn’t deserve any of this and both she and he knew it. He had done nothing wrong. All of his intentions were pure and honorable…yet, here he was…mere inches away from death. Bella couldn’t hold back anymore. The tears began flowing freely down her cheeks as she heard him speak of never letting go and fighting for her. She had never felt such intensity than the moment they were sharing. He sparked everything in her and she knew then and there she needed him in her life. She only hoped the flushing of his fluids was enough…

She inhaled deeply, her eyes traveling to their hands. His grip was tight, but not nearly as tight as a healthy Jacob grip. It was weaker than a human’s which worried her. His should be ten times as strong, and yet it wasn’t. The severity of the situation was finally starting to level in Bella’s head. These last few moments with Jacob may be her last. The thought left her speechless and broken. To lose Jake would be losing half of her heart; he was part of her whether she wanted to openly admit it or not.

A small laugh broke the tears as he spoke of it being partially her fault. She knew that was just the goofy Jake trying to shine through. She knew in her heart that he would never actually blame her for what happened. He was just trying to lay a bit of relief on the situation. Bringing his hand up to her lips, she kissed it tenderly…wishing she could do more for him, say more to make him feel better and bring him to a small sense of peace. “I’ll be right here Jacob…I won’t leave your side.” The words fell out of her lips naturally and in her heart she meant them to a stronger meaning than what sounded. She tried to find the right words, but nothing was coming to mind. She knew in her heart what she wanted to say, but saying them meant ending everything with Edward. He was her life…but in tonight’s attack, she saw the true monster of vampires and it truthfully frightened her.

Her eyes closed as he asked her if the flushing of the fluids would work. Words escaped her, and she just looked at him…a painful expression in her eyes. She couldn’t lie to Jacob…she knew that wouldn’t be what he wanted. But, at the same time, she couldn’t think to tell him Carlisle didn’t know. Her hand gripped his tighter and she bit at her lower lip. “They’re doing the best they can.” She spoke, taking the pansy way out of telling him they were unsure whether it would work. The thought pulled at her heart and the tears fell more from her blood-shot eyes. The words were begging to be let loose and she leaned forward…making sure to not hit his body. The last thing she wanted was to cause him more pain. Her hand moved through his hair lovingly, looking him down in the eyes. His brown eyes were enough to make her melt, and she continued to let her cool hands run down his face…almost playing with his hair. Ignoring the beeps from the monitor above his bed, she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips softly. “I love you, Jacob.” She whispered, pressing her forehead against his for a moment before pulling away gently. In those four words, she was saying goodbye to her life with Edward Cullen. They weren’t just a friendly ‘I love you,’ they were the solid meaning of forever and always meant to be.

[WHITNEY!]

He was sure she was scared because it was Bella. She would forever be worried about him, or at least he wanted to dream that she would be so. No longer had he really been able to see where she was headed and to whom she longed to be beside. The boy’s soft brown eyes and large beating heart could no longer distinguish if she even thought of him nearly as often as his thoughts remained anchored around her. His eyes closed shut lightly and only for a moment; he did not want to push himself in the wrong direction at all. To die in front of her, or even with out her, would be far worse than any pain he could endure, but to die for her was a great honor. Either way, Jacob Black knew he would not be allowing himself to fall from the earth so easily; he was not going to allow himself to die especially because of a nasty, annoying little vampire.

There was no one else on the Earth or of the Earth to come that could possibly take her place. There was no one in previous, present, or future existence that could tie him to life and hold him down from the rest of the universe. He wanted to be firmly planted in the ground with her. He wished to experience everything with her and only her. The thoughts of losing her once more to the man of faded existence, whose cold, dead fingers could never warm her, only forced the crack in his heart deeper. If he were to die, at least he could be touching the only piece of pure, true life he believed in.

But just as his thoughts were beginning to once more linger on Bella’s fascination with Edward Cullen, and just as the sickening feeling with in his stomach was beginning to replace all of the pain his body was in, he heard her speaking to him in such a tone he had never witnessed before. His eyes opened back up and he looked up at her once more, quickly as though she was a passing ghost. She spoke of loving him. He had heard her say it all before, but he was sure he had been forever moved to just being her best friend, always and forever. But Jacob could see a different type of love laced with the light pigment of her eyes, and his heart fluttered. Once more he grew numb to everything that was around him but her. The pain was no longer there and he was no longer suffering. Jacob Black could feel her touch change instantly, just as the words rang from between her lips. Faintly he could hear the beeps of the heart monitor speed up as his heart danced with in his chest. Around hers his hand tightened through the strong feelings of pain.

“Bella…” The mind of the shifter could only settle on her words; slight confusion had struck him in the midst of voicing her name. Surely if Jacob’s strength would allow him, he would have jumped to his feet and picked her up in his arms. He had been waiting so long for her to realize it all, and as of lately his feelings for her had brought him to realize that he would be forever tied to Isebella Swan no matter who she chose. From somewhere deep with in him, his eyes lightened and his face brightened, as though he had never even been hurt. The heart monitor continued to race and Jacob’s heart only began to beat quicker as she leaned down and kissed him on the lips. Everything happened in one, swift moment. Before she could move any further away from him, he reached up to nearly fasten his arms around her small body and pull his aching body near hers. He did not want to let go; pain and suffering could never separate them and Jacob Black was sure about it.

“I love you too.”

[bella]

The high-pitched beeps from the heart monitor grew quicker as she knew Jacob’s heart rate was increasing, but even that seemed faded in the distance. All that mattered was the two of them. The rest of the world was secluded in almost zero sound tolerance. Her focus was solely on one Jacob Black. Forever and always, she wanted to embrace this feeling. For the first time since Edward’s departure, she felt whole again. She felt like she belonged and she mattered, and the whole in her heart was fully and finally healed. Jacob was the man she belonged with. Even if she and Edward were destined to be together, she and Jacob were meant to be. That much she knew, and the passion and intensity in this moment only proved it.

It surprised her a bit when Jacob reacted to her kiss. He hadn’t much been able to talk, let alone move since she’d walked in. But, when their lips met it was like a spark ignited in him and she felt his arms fasten around her, pulling her closer. Her body moved swiftly closer to him and she let the kiss grow into their first real kiss. There was no way that would be a kiss just between friends. No, the perfection of their lips against one another, the way the world around them faded out, the way his passion masked the pain she knew he was feeling. It wasn’t just an ordinary kiss, it was a kiss between lovers.

Letting her lips linger for only a moment, Bella finally pulled away. She was speechless and breathless. Jacob had taken both away. The words he spoke after they’d withdrawn from the kiss sent chills dancing down her spine. It was set. Then and there. The two of them would be forever more. Edward, though she knew seeing him would be painful, was gone from the picture. Jacob had somehow sliced through the love she and Edward felt and opened her eyes to where her heart truly was. No matter the circumstances, she couldn’t turn back now.

Slowly reeling herself back to reality, the erratic beeps from the machine alerted her to just how hard and crazily his heart was racing. She couldn’t help but smile at what she had caused, yet there was a slight worry that he would still be alright. His skin was still burning hot; trying it’s hardest to fight the venom. There was a thin film of sweat covering him, and she felt the familiar stab of pain at her heart. That was when the gravity of the situation really struck. Carlisle hadn’t been so sure the flushing of the fluids would work to get the venom out. In fact, he seemed like he half believed it would fail. She wouldn’t tell that to Jacob though. Instead, she just inhaled and sat back down beside him. “I won’t leave you, Jacob. You’re not alone…” In reality, those words could mean more than just inside the emergency room, but she meant them as they sounded. She wouldn’t leave his side until he ordered her away.

With her hand still holding his, she looked up at him with a soft smile, letting her other hand run down his face. The flicker of her eyes sent her love and affection to him when their eyes met. But, in that glance, there was also a large strain of worry. Thoughts of whether to talk to Carlisle again or not began to rush through her mind. She needed Jacob to survive. To lose him now would send her to her own death. Losing Edward was one thing, but to lose Jacob as well would push her to her limit. If he fell away from the light, so would she.